I got an unexpected visit from one of my line sisters this weekend. It was perfect timing because her energy and her wisdom was right on time. We laughed and talked over wine and sushi. She told me things I needed to hear without a twinge of judgment. We spoke openly about life, challenges, insecurities, past relationships, etc. Whether she realized or not she was an answer to a prayer for strength, inspiration, and joy.
As I’ve gotten older, my immediate circle has become smaller but stronger. We are not all the same and some of us may not even talk to one another on a regular basis but yet we remain connected. I used to have this attitude that I didn’t need anyone yet the truth is that we all need someone to call our friend. A house full of stuff will never take the place of connecting with actual people. We were not created to be alone. Having positive relationships is so important in life and even more important as a Christian are those relationships where you can pray for and encourage one another.
I’ve learned first hand that not all friendships are meant to last forever. Seasons come and go and sometimes for our own personal growth we have to leave some people behind. No friendship can last the test of time without love, respect, transparency, trust, and forgiveness. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and sometimes I think society tells us to cut people off when they make a mistake but at the end of the day each situation is different and we all fall short. I can assure you that if it’s time to let someone go in your life, you won’t miss one minute of sleep or have any sign of anxiety. There is always that weird tension when friends are at odd. I’ve experienced it myself. It’s a feeling in the pit of your stomach that just won’t go away. You tell yourself you’re fine with how things are but you just can’t shake the situation. That’s not peace. To the girl who might be experiencing this, forgiving someone is about you and not the other person. Forgiving someone and making peace with him or her today doesn’t mean catching up over lunch tomorrow. Be wise. Be mature. Pray first and react later. Be mindful of who you seek advice from as well because some people live for other people's drama.
And while some friendships don’t last always, some change maybe for the good or maybe for the worse. Some see gray skies before things get better. There are some people whom I’d never talk to unless I reach out to them. I could rack my brain over why that’s the case but for what? People change. Life happens. Priorities change. Frankly, sometimes people out grow each other. That's life. We meet new people who challenge us and bring joy to our lives. Whatever your situation, let us learn to love one another the way God has called us to. It’s not easy but nothing worth having won't take a little work. Friendships are what we make them. We have to be mindful of how we treat others and follow that golden rule that we ought to treat people how we want to be treated.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
I am absolutely grateful for the friendships I have, from the ones that were broken for a while and that are now thriving to the friendship I have with my sister to the relationship I have with my mom. None are perfect but then again we aren't perfect people.
Originally posted: Sunday, April 12, 2015