His Plans Are Better
Growing up I was a very shy kid. When I think about just how shy I was, I’m a bit shocked that I fell in love with modeling. I couldn’t miss an episode of America’s Next Top Model and looking through fashion magazines made me so happy. After a lot of begging (and good grades to sweeten the deal), my parents enrolled me in modeling school at Page Parks here in Houston. I was beyond excited when they offered me a contract at the end. I just knew I’d pack my bags and head off to New York one day. A girl can dream, right?
By my senior year in high school my dreams of becoming this famous model didn’t disappear but the idea of college became my main priority. I remember taking a psychology class, and I guess you can say I was hooked from day one. By the time I graduated, I had my heart set on becoming a clinical psychologist…in a prison. Yes, a prison. I was intrigued by how the brain worked and I also wanted to help people, so it only made sense to pursue a psychology degree and that’s exactly what I did. I later added business as a second major but I just knew psychology was it for me.
Well, I graduated from undergrad in 2005 and found myself working in Human Resources. Of course this was a completely different world than working with mentally ill inmates in a prison. Shortly after that I accepted a job with a federal government agency, once again doing something very different than what I’d ever thought I’d be doing. Years later I earned my masters degree because once again I had plans and well, I’ve learned a couple of things since then.
This blog post isn’t about my education. It’s not about lost dreams or having a change in heart in what career to pursue. It’s about the plans we have for ourselves. It’s about waking up one day and understanding that while we don’t always understand where life takes us, there is something about knowing that God is with us. Sure, being intentional about our goals and aspirations is so very important but God has reminded me, especially recently, that He indeed has a plan for my life. I can choose to be resilient and prayerful and trusting of Him or I can be pessimistic, angry, and just negative. The later of two certainly would never lead to clarity or patience….
I’ve been on my job for a little over twelve years. Like many times over the years, I find myself wondering what’s next for me. In a perfect world I’d be traveling abroad regularly and writing to my heart’s content. That definitely sounds good, but truthfully, God hasn’t told me to dive into the world of full time entrepreneurship. Instead He’s telling me to trust His timing. Besides, paying a mortgage on your own will put you in your place real quick after a bad day or a stressful week. That’s real life for you!
In retrospect, I’m certain God has protected me from things I’ll never know about and I have to trust that doors that have been shut in my face was just part of a bigger plan for my life. We may not always understand it or like it, but there is something about our faith being stretched. We may not always get what we pray for and sometimes we have to wait a good while before we hear from Him. The true test of our faithfulness is trusting that we will land exactly where God wants us to be, in His time.
I’ve always been a writer. It started off with poems and short stories and while I would say I wanted to write a book one day, it never truly became a goal until adulthood. I didn’t know back in high school that writing would one day change my life and pull me out of a very dark place. I didn’t know that I’d become a self published author. I didn’t become that psychologist and I’ve never graced the cover of a magazine. My life is not the least bit perfect, but I am certain that I am right where God wants me to be in this season.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I do understand that trusting God is something worth working towards everyday. Holding on to the fact that God has never and will never break a promise gives me an assurance that no one on this earth can give me. Understanding that His plans are simply better (and always right on time) gives me peace, and for that I am grateful.